This is a passage of fiction I wrote today as part of an exercise for my course. We were supposed to explore how unreliable the narrator can be, and we were asked to write a short piece where the narrator can contradict themselves with something that they say. What do you think? Did I manage to convey the contradiction in my narrator with her approach to a colleague? Any comments will be gratefully received.
I was in a bit of a daydream earlier today and I found I was staring at Janet’s hair again. The sun was streaming in through the office blinds and it lit up her hair like a halo. Running my fingers through my own frizzy tresses I realised it needed a good cut and could probably do with a bit of a deep conditioning too. Only half hearing the ringing phone on my desk, I wondered if Janet coloured hers. I decided to give mine a go over the weekend to see if it would give it some life to give me a halo like Janet’s crowning glory.
My friend Ruth mimed tipping a cup of coffee towards her mouth behind Janet’s back to me and pointed to the kitchen. Guessing she wanted a bit of a gossip I eagerly jumped up out of my seat and followed her in.
Look at that top she’s wearing today,’ she whispered insistently. I giggled and looked back out towards the office where Janet was busy with her audio typing.
‘I know! She looks like she’s been dragged through a hedge backwards and then dipped in paint!!’ I said. Janet’s horrifically clashing purple and orange top was giving me a migraine and it looked like Ruth had noticed it too.
We looked at each other and couldn’t help ourselves. ‘TRAMP!’ we chorused together.