The Most Hyperbolic Winter In The History of the Universe

You may have read my rant against the weather forecasters the other day. Their hyperbole has gone stratospheric with claims about this being the coldest/snowiest/frostiest/worst/stormiest* (delete as appropriate) since records began, and it has led to the most ridiculous claims about the upcoming weather. I likened their assertions that we are going to be in for “the worst weather EVER!!!” to the rantings of troubled teenagers who have never seen seasonal weather before, but today’s headlines have taken the absolute biscuit.

Apparently, we are going to see “Siberian” temperatures all week this week. Really? REALLY??

This is a photograph of the “Siberian” temperatures this morning on the River Cam:

river cam

Wow. Can you see all that snow and ice? Can you see those rowers dressed to tackle Arctic conditions out there on that frozen water??

How about this one then?


Brrrrr!!! Siberia, here we come!

Oh hang on a minute…THIS is Siberia just a few days ago:

PAY-Dudinka (1) PAY-Dudinka


That is frozen water from a burst pipe a couple of days ago. It has flooded and frozen at the same time and has encased the town in ice several feet thick. I can’t imagine the Cambridge rowing team practicing on this can you?

I’ll end with another plea to the weather forecasters and the headline writers to please, please stop with the overblown and ludicrously outrageous claims about how bad we can expect our weather to be.

Can you just be honest and tell us that perhaps “temperatures are normal for this time of year, it being February and the middle of winter and all, and you need to put a coat on and maybe think about wearing a hat and some gloves. Oh, and there might be some snow on the hills too. Which you’ll know about if you live there because IT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR AT THIS TIME!!!”. We are not going to be experiencing temperatures rivalling those found in Siberia. We are not going to be having life-threatening snow falls. We are not going to be cut off from food or energy supplies because of a few flakes of frost or snow.Can you please keep it realistic for us and tell us that it’s going to be chilly overnight and we will need to get up 10 minutes early to defrost the car, or that we can’t uncover our tender plants in the garden yet because of hard frosts, or maybe (at a push) that it might be worthwhile thinking about either keeping the heating on overnight or going to bed wearing socks for a few nights instead? Pretty please?

Thank you.



2 thoughts on “The Most Hyperbolic Winter In The History of the Universe”

  1. So very true! This did make me chuckle a bit and it does make me glad that there are others who think weather people can overblow normal weather. Would it help to restore your faith in weather people though to know that we got a foot of snow (30 cm) Sunday night into Monday and everything was operating as normal yesterday despite the roads being TERRIBLE and the temperatures falling to 0 F/-18 C? 😉

    I don’t tell you this often enough, but your blog is one of the highlights of the internet for me. 😉

    Mary in PA


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