Have you ever noticed how it’s the little things that get you when you are feeling vulnerable? I don’t just mean the bad things, but the good things too. You can cope with the big things that happen – the bereavement, the sudden illness, the car accident – but when someone is randomly kind to you, or offers you a smile when you weren’t expecting it it can undo you, can’t it?
That kind of happened to me today. I went to Asda at lunchtime to get some things for tea tonight and there was a huge Mother’s Day display at the entrance. I thought I would get my Mum’s gift today because tomorrow is going to be hectic and while I was thinking about what to get her it suddenly struck me that this year, I only have one mum to buy for. My mother in law, Doreen, died just after Mothering Sunday last year and the thought that I only needed to pick up one card, one gift this year took my breath away.
The thing that surprised me most was that even though we were not particularly close before she died, she was still my husband’s mother and I still cared about her, and it upset me to think that she wouldn’t be included in the thanksgiving this Sunday. Obviously I was upset at the time of the death (I was with her when she died), and I grieved for her in the weeks around her funeral but the list of “firsts” that come in the year since someone dies have come and gone without much emotion. Christmas, New Year, her birthday, her wedding anniversary, all our birthdays etc have all come and gone without any drama but for some reason, the sight of the tacky Mother’s Day stuff in Asda today nearly undid me.
Another little thing that means more than grand gestures was this morning when I came downstairs and Kevin had made me a cup of tea on a thermal cup to take to work with me. I was running late and didn’t have time to get a drink before heading out in the snow, but he’d thought ahead and made me that tea. A small gesture but it speaks volumes..
Do the little things go deeper than the big things do you think? Or is it just that we notice the small things because they shine out in times of darkness? Let me know your thoughts.